arrgghhh..i'm gettin layzierrr everyday...gtta stop actin like a bum and get my royal derriere to do some real work (but will that ever happen..i seriously doubt it). seriously though, i do need to get all that important stuff outta the way or ill be sitting here in a few weeks crying over how life's unfair to me....see ppl when life gives u lemons, u make lemonade...but when life gives me lemons, i wait until they dry out...
As humans we make mistakes almost everyday..after all to err is human. when you think about it, we need to err every once in a while to figure out what direction we're goin in, what is our purpose etc etc. we are meant to learn from our mistakes so that we are not doomed to repeat history, but in my case history repeats itself again and again....

The purpose driven life...

Another one of dose days when I feel that I need to look someplace else for whatever it is that im lookin for...this idea that I have..more like a feeling actually, that I am searching for sumthin..it's like i'm on a quest...a quest to find my "purpose" (cliched, I knw..but it describes it well). The dilemma is that I dnt knw what m lukin for or where to luk for it ..nor can I ask for directions..which dsnt help a bit..
wish I had some background music and a sword..and maybe a sidekick..that wud make it a hell lot more interesting....hehe..
anywayz..I guess ill know when I come to that point in life....

ABSOLUTE TRUTH...DOES IT EXIST???.

How would you define truth? Today in philosophy class, we were asked this question and something that our group thought wud be pretty easy to define..was really confusing when we actually thought about it...because there is no universal definiton of truth...that's because what maybe true for you may not be true for anyone else. truth is what you believe in, but someone else might not follow that belief system.. a friend of mine and i were having a lil discussion over it..he said truth is what is "right" ..but again whats right for you may not be right for me. Then there are different types of truth. scientific truth is the simplest explanation that accounts for all the available facts. it's the truth of the moment. it's transitory. relative truth is realtive to a persons situation or standpoint..so its more likely to change with time and situation. now is there any such thing as "the absolute truth?" absolute truth is faith within certain religions. different religions have different beliefs, thus different truths. reality and death are part of an absolute truth. then again are we really here? is death really "THE END"..it couldnt be the absoulte truth if you believe in reincarnation or life after death. just like matrix, maybe we just think that we are here. what if we are living in a simulated reality?So far, truth looks like belief, and beliefs differ from person to person. so what we call truth is just what we believe in ...

followup:
this article that i read online today is pretty akin to what i wrote above and supports my reasoning by using historical incidences..this guy is also saying that there is no absolute truth....

Truth needs the crutches of a lie
by Rajneesh Batra
Who would denounce the age-old perception that 'Only Truth prevails'? But I take it as a 'myth'.
I was driven to change my outlook towards life and its values not just because of personal experiences, but also due to our epics.
Let me clarify that I am neither atheist nor radical. But I do have a brain, which with the grace of the Almighty is working perfectly fine so far. I, therefore, offer anticipatory apologies to all those who might get hurt in any way by my point of view.
So, let me start with the Ramayana. There is no debate that our land ever produced a more pious and truthful soul than Lord Rama - the only person enjoying the prefix 'Maryadapurshottam' before his name. His selflessness and transparency in honouring his father's command and putting his wife to the ultimate test is unmatched.
But, did he prevail over Ravana just because Truth was on his side? No! Because, if we go by the words of Goswami Tulsidas, it was the 'Vanar Sena' that made him victorious, courtesy of Sugriva, their king. But, could Sugriva have ever become king, had Lord Rama not killed Vali, his elder brother, by keeping aside fair play (maryada) for a while. So, 'truth prevailed' only after adopting an unfair practice.
Now, recall another benchmark of Indian mythology, the Mahabharata, which also tries to prove that 'Truth comes out victorious'. But again, the biggest obstacles to the triumph of truth, Dronacharya and Bhishma, were overpowered only through unfair means, and that too by none other than Lord Krishna.
If our gods take the help of 'deceit' to avoid 'defeat' and 24-carat gold cannot turn into ornament unless mixed with impurity, how can we turn our lives savoury without adding the pinch of lie to the recipe of truth?
My whole point is that there is nothing in this world that is an 'Absolute Truth', because it cannot fly without the 'feathers of fib'. Secondly, the 'half-truth' is always more lethal than an 'absolute lie'

AWAKENING.....

The sound of gongs and other smaller bells come from far away. At the break of dawn, I venture out to explore this new vacation spot where I will be spending a few days away from the chaos of the city. I walk alone on an unpaved road covered with leaves because of last night’s cloudburst. The smell of jasmine in the early morning still lingers in the air and is very refreshing. The air is as pure and fresh as His first breath. The song of the stream flowing nearby is melodious and very calming to my ears. As I draw closer to the sound of the bells, I hear the monks singing ancient chants and hymns that are incomprehensible... yet... enchanting and hypnotic. I enter the holy temple, as old and ancient as time itself…. and the chants get louder and entrancing, putting me in a trance like state, as if coming from the belly of the universe. The chants have a vibe, an energy that emanates from the words that are spoken. The words resonate throughout the temple and I surrender myself to the harmonic songs. As the wind blows, all of the bells peal out in unison and create a beautiful symphony that puts me into an even deeper ecstasy. I walk around His house, looking at the ancient walls that depict many stories showing the end of evil, the coming of light, the triumph of truth. The high coffered domed ceiling is covered with dark soot that has accumulated over many hundreds of years from burning all that incense. The heady scent seems to have housed in the walls and the pillars. I can’t make out the dull paintings on some of the walls. They must have been painted with bright colors once, and now…. covered with soot…. they are almost unintelligible. The smell of incense so subtle yet so powerful gives me a feeling of weightlessness. I watch the monks as they make offerings and put bright red flowers at His feet and illuminate candles at the lavishly decorated altar as a symbol of wisdom and virtue. The time seems to have stopped. The idol stands tall and high in the middle of the grand hall, in the most elegant pose. His eyes are big, sleepy and peaceful. They look into my eyes and right into my soul….. sending shivers down to the bone… welcoming me to His house…. and his smile so mysterious as if he knows what I am thinking, as if he has known me forever, as if he knows all my secrets. The feeling is so overwhelming. I come outside and look at the lush surroundings, feeling the cool and refreshing breeze on my face…. and the tall trees surrounding the temple swaying in agreement, as if they know what I went through inside. These immortal trees that have been here since forever, since the temple itself was built or perhaps even much longer, have witnessed people change at this spot and leave a different person. As I stand there trying to unfold the mystery of the place, a single ray of sunlight emerges from the rain clouds and rests on me. I feel the warmth on my face, experiencing a change in my body, purifying every single cell and filling it up with the holiest, sweetest and purest water. I am soaked in eternal bliss. Never have I felt so much at peace. The gong strikes again…I break down in peace.
Was it a dream, or did i fantasize? i do not recall.....

Walk Me Through Life...

Hold my hand and walk me through life,
It's dark and lonely and alone I strife.
To survive

Wake me up, I've been sleeping too long,
Living in a dreamscape where I don't belong.
It's been long

Whisper a song into my ears,
And rid me of all my fears.
Wipe my tears

I'm fading away, call my name,
I'm forced to play life's unfair game.
It's insane

Open the door and let me in,
Let me find the light within.
Help me win

Picture from http://travelpod.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/1-1235992500-child-beggars-1.png?w=432&h=348

FALLING APART

I love walking in the rain so no one can see me crying,
My soul cries for help, I have given up trying.
I hide in the dark and in silence I abide,
I lie on the bed with my soul right beside.

I dream of the life that I could have had,
Now nothing makes a difference - good or bad.
What keeps me awake is the thought what's become of me,
It's a never fading guilt that's crawling inside me.

Cursing and screaming my thoughts are going wild,
Begging for mercy from my own disturbed mind.
The colors are gone and my whole world is gray,
I plea for help as my sanity is shying away.

Even my shadow seem to walk away from me,
It seems impossible for me to break free.
I watch myself as I come undone,
And walk once again as my tears and rain become one.

MAGICAL REALM

When the world's asleep at night,
I often escape from my room.
when midnight silence is at its height,
I take a walk under the moon.


I know this place in the forest,
an enchanted spot by the creek.
Where the stars shine the brightest,
my sactuary of magical retreat.


I sit amidst fairy trees and flowers,
and listen to them as they whisper.
Their bewitching melodies that empowers,
when you pass them by a whisker.


And here it is that I lose,
all the perception of time and space,
And here it is that I can choose,
the way of life that I embrace.


When i'm jaded from the worries of life,
here I come, where no one can find.
The only place I don't strife to survive,
is the magical place within my mind.

ANGRY MOMENT

Don't expect
Don't judge
Don't hate
Don't love

Don't criticize
Don't tease
Don't misinterpret
Don't appease

Don't ask me to change,
Just leave me the way I am

TRAPPED IN MY DREAM

I see myself falling,
lifelessly, in my dream.
I see myself drowning,
helplessly, but I can't scream.

I see myself running,
from an unknown fear,
And wait in the dark,
for something sinister to appear.

I see myself burning,
in the fire that's within.
Someone wake me up,
or I dream until.

Are these my fears,
or an overactive imagination?
I'm drenched in my tears,
haunted by an eerie apparation.

Do you know how it is,
to dream something so real?
And there's hidden danger,
behind everything surreal.

I am not a quitter,
and i'm not going insane.
I know my dreams are bitter,
but i'm learning how to tame.